So, I have been five months purge free! It's amazing how far I've come! This is the longest I have ever gone in years! Even in residential I never went this long! When I was asked how I did it, I did some thinking. I have realized that by using DBT I have really been able to use my skills to keep myself from purging, self harming, weighing myself, body checking, etc... I am truly amazed at how far I have come. I never ever thought I could ever go this long! I mean, I get urges and everything but I have gotten really good at using the DBT skills. In fact, I will share with you the exact skills I use most to help me :)
1.) Urge Surfing: Observe and describe your current emotion and current thoughts. No judgements. I try to sometimes visualize myself on a wave "riding out" the urges to use symptoms to not giving in.
2.) Radical Acceptance: Accept what is. Decide to accept and tolerate the moment. The acceptance allows you to move on. Remember, just because you're accepting it doesn't mean you agree with or like the situation.
3.) Distract: Do some activities! I like to do some drawing, watch a show, and sometimes talking to someone can help too. I try to do some pushing away too. I have a box where I write down my current worries and fears and I stick them in the box. I try to let it go and not think about it now. Sensation helps too! I would usually self harm when I was in distress. While in treatment I've learned some ways that give you sensation without hurting yourself. I throw ice balloons and hold ice in my hand and stress balls are a miracle!
4.) Improve The Moment: THIS ONE WORKS WONDERS. I try to pray, relax, use imagery, and I try to do one thing in the moment. I just focus on what I am doing in the moment. I don't worry about the future or the past. 5.) Wise Mind: There are two minds: Reasonable Mind and Emotion Mind. Wise mind is being able to kind of like check the facts. Emotion mind is when you're really upset and you let your emotions control you. I always try to check in with myself and see where I am. What is my wise mind saying? After a lot of practice it is easier to distinguish the two. It can be hard sometimes and I mix up the two but I try to listen and see which voice sounds 'reasonable'.
So yeah! Those are the skills I use most. They help me SO SO So much. I mean, restricting is still a little bit of an issue but I'm really happy that purging is now low. It's really freeing. Of coarse my eating disorder tells me I have less control and I'm going to gain weight like crazy but I check in with my wise mind and I try to see the reality of that thought.
So, today is Halloween! I am being hipster Ariel and I am quite excited :) I hope I win the contest at work! hehe! We shall see XD Anywho.... that's all for now! Bye! xx
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