Let's just say that some people are just annoying... Anyway, things are not going so well. I have been having a really hard time. I don't even know what to say... I just feel so sad. I feel like all I do is go to The Emily Program and work. I'm exhausted and I hardly get sleep. I wake up, go to programming, share my feelings, go to work completely emotionally exhausted and worn out, come home, try to sleep, get up and repeat. I don't know what to do. I don't want to quit programming because I need that more than anything right now but I also don't want to take down my hours at work because I NEED the money and plus my parent's would be upset if I did since if I'm not at work then what? They want me to be doing something. I just feel like I need my time. I need to figure things out.
Yesterday my mom asked about school and what I think about it. I told her I have no idea. I don't even know where to start :/ I want to be back in school but I think a four year college isn't for me. I have thought about beauty school and all. I think I would love to do makeup and hair! I'm looking in to it.
But there's so much emotionally going on inside of me. I tell my therapist everything but I only get an hour with her once a week and it's not enough! And now she's leaving and moving and I have to get a new therapist and I don't want to! I have had so many with being in outpatient and then inpatient and then outpatient and then inpatient again.... I just need consistency!
And then there's these emotions in my heart that I can't control and don't understand and it's driving me crazy! AHH! I don't know what to do! I need someone to just tell me what to do! I can't figure anything out :(
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