I am so aggravated. SO.DAMN.AGGRAVATED I have felt like absolute crap the last few days. I wake up and I'm usually okay but then my day happens and then I just wanna keel over and lay in the fetal position and cry.
I'm sick of my eating disorder, I'm sick of people, I'm sick of me and I'm sick of all the things my heart is feeling. I feel like I have this stinging pain that is just tearing my apart and I want to just rip my heart out, stomp on it and never put it back in. I hate feelings. I hate them. I HATE THEM.
(sorry this post is so intense and negative...)
I just want someone to come and hold me and help get me through this. I know I have God, but sometimes I just need something tangible and something I can actually see and hold. I know God is there and I know he's beside me and helping through all of this, but sometimes I get so hurt because I feel like he's not answering me or listening. I need answers and I want them NOW. I can't stand being like this. I want to just step outside of my body and just take a break.
I just pray to God that he answers me and helps me through this. I need him so much right now.
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