New Hampshire

So it's my last night in NH right now :( I'm really sad but the trip has been super good!!! I had the most amazing time :) I got to see my awesome friends and I even got my first kiss :D So I'm one happy girl :) It was the best night of my lifeeee. I honestly felt like nothing in the whole world could go wrong. It sucks to like someone who is so far away. But I'm putting my trust in God. I know he has his reasoning for what he does.

As for ED... he was pretty present throughout the trip. I did my best to ignore him and just do what I needed to do. I did go a few days with just eating like one meal and nothing else :/ So that was kind of bad. ED was just really taking advantage of being away from home. And obviously I had a ton of nerves going on since I was back in NH. But I just hope that once I get home I can get back on track and do what I gotta do. I can't keep eating and then not eating... it's super hard to go days without eating to go back to eating. It's SO hard.

It's super hard to go home tomorrow :( I love MN... I have so many amazing friends, but I love NH too and I wanna be back so badly. I'm torn between the two. It sucks. But I mean, I feel so happy here. And like, Friday night, with the guy I was with, when I was with him, it was like I was so happy that ED wasn't even there. He was obviously there in the beginning and telling me that I was fat and ugly and all this stupid crap, but once I got in the car with him all I cared about was being with him and when we sat together after the movie, I was so happy that I didn't even have time to think about what if he though I was fat or what not. I felt so perfect with him... I can't explain it... but I just felt like everything was going to be ok. All I can say is that it's great motivation to want to get better. So I can feel this way all the time! But omg, my night with him made my summer complete and I wanted it to never end.

So, my trip was awesome and I had an amazing time with my friends (= I hope I get to come back asap! It's vital and important that I come back.... just sayin'.

Ok! I'm done!