What's Going On!

So I really suck at updating this... But here I am and here's a little update (=

So the rents are back home and things are back to normal for the most part. Things were a little rocky while my parents were away and one day at work I had a breakdown because I wasn't eating for a few days and I ended up going home with a co-worker for an hour and eating lunch with her and then going back to work where I cried the remainder of the time. Fortunately I have an amazing boss who is so caring and did her best he help me through the rough night. I was asked to stay at work because they thought it would be better than going home and being alone with my thoughts and possibly using symptoms. I was a little upset they had me stay since obviously it's no fun to be crying at work and having everyone wonder what the heck is going on with you.... but I got through it and all my co workers were super nice. But now that people at work know my struggle it's harder now to use symptoms there (restricting). Now one of my co workers makes sure that I eat and it does help but it pisses of my eating disorder (which I guess we want? lol).

Anyway. So that's all that really happened the last few weeks. I have just been doing my best to stay strong and keep fighting! Things have been a lot harder recently and I feel like I am falling back a bit. I've been getting back in to old habits :/ But I guess I can say somewhat proudly that I have gone a week and half w/o purging! Hopefully I can keep that up. I came oh so close to purging tonight but I didn't. I try to tell myself that being full is just a feeling and it will pass. And I WON'T gain ten lbs from one meal. I just need to keep saying that. Even thought I don't believe it, I know I need to keep repeating it.

Prayers would be helpful! Love you all and thanks for your ongoing support! :)