A Little Education For Ya'll….

Ok. So numerous times I have been approached by people telling me to watch certain documentaries and such things about people with Eating Disorders. They say "Once you see this, you'll for sure want to get rid of ED…" or "This will scare you out of your eating disorder for sure!"

Yeah… no.

For a good example, let's look at today. Now first off, I love my Mom. I know she means well and cares about me. But when I came home today from programming she asked me if I wanted to watch this documentary about a person who died from their eating disorder. I know this was because she wanted to enlighten me and show me that what I'm doing to myself is literally like killing myself and is super unhealthy (Which, by the way, I understand…). Of coarse I asked "Were there pictures shown?". When she said yes I immediately told her that watching the documentary prob wasn't the best idea then because images like this:

FUEL my eating disorder because sadly, and for some f'ed up reason, that is how I want to look. I know, it's messed up, sick, disgusting…. But it's the plain out honest truth.

Also, when people tell me I'm slowly killing myself is unhelpful to hear to, because truth be told, I have struggled with suicide for a while now and hearing that ONLY makes ED louder and more excited. I know, again…. messed up.

So what I want all of you lovely support people to know is:

• Don't mention how ED is a way of slowly killing myself.
• That I am basically going to look emaciated and like a Holocaust victim (I hate when ppl say that!)
• Don't tell me that I'm destroying my body.
• And so on….

Those things only FUEL ED and make him happier and louder.

This disease is hard to explain and honestly, posting this, I know I'll be judged and people are going to think I'm sick, gross, disgusting, severely messed up…. But honestly, the less people understand and know more about this illness, we're not going to get anywhere.

This is all the sad truth for me and I am working on it; Day by day.