First Weekend Home!

Well, I made it through my first weekend home! It was hard but I did it.

I've been really struggling but I'm trying my best to just keep moving forward. First weekends home from residential treatment is never easy :/

Friday in IDP we had to plan our entire weekend meal wise. Pfftt. I didn't follow it one bit. ED was like "Screw that". Ugh. I suck at following plans like that. It just doesn't happen. I know it needs to though since that's the only way I'll make progress. But it's so hard when I'm still stuck in the whole "Do I want recovery?". Which I know I do because there's so much I want to do in life. I think I'm just afraid of what life can be without my eating disorder. It's been with me since I was eleven....

I meet with my new dietician today so I hope and pray that that goes well. She seems nice from when I met her last week in group. Hopefully there's no meal plan changes. Unless she takes something off! Which I highly doubt will happen....

I have IDP until 7pm today... that's a long day. Lunch and dinner there. That's exhausting. ED is upset. Breakfast is the only meal of the day I have some control. Which is never good... breakfast is SUPER important and I haven't been eating it :/ Things really need to change. I can't let all these stays at AWH go to waste. I can't waste away. I need to get my butt in to action and really get on board with recovery.

Update!

Well I'm home again! I discharged from the Anna Westin House on Feb. 13th. It was a SUPER HARD transition... even though it was my 3rd time :/ But this time I really did not feel completely ready to go but my team thought I was so I decided to put my trust in them as best as I could.

Being home again is strange... It's always hard to go from 24/7 care to just nothing.... well, I am in IDP at St. Louis Park which is really great. Everyone there is awesome! Plus my old dietician from the house is there so that's cool.

ED has been so loud ever since I've come home which is expected obviously... but it's just aggravating. I feel like I should be better by now. Today marks the 2 years since I first admitted to the house! TWO YEARS 0__o It feels like just yesterday! lol

Anyway. I am glad to be home even though I do miss the EDTs and residents. It's nice to be able to have more freedom :) And I get to cuddle with Kiwi at night! WOO! Yay kitty!

Thanks for all the support, everyone!